Happiness is Hot Coffee, Warming My Fingers

Well, I've done it. I've started a blog. I may be the only one to know that I've started a blog, as I have very little intention of advertising it in the usual medium (i.e. Facebook).

I hardly feel that my life is perfect. (Of course I don't. Who really thinks that their life is perfect?) This is not to sound unhappy or whiny, but merely a recognition of the fact that life isn't perfect. There is, after all, a difference between perfect and good. If there is someone out there who does not want a single thing, can not think of one tiny detail that they would change or improve, I would like to shake your hand. I would also like to know what you're drinking.

No, the purpose is not to complain. It is instead to share things that my perfect life would contain. For example, this coffee maker:

I have wanted a Keurig coffee maker since my junior year of college, when one of my roommates got one for Christmas and brought it back after break.

A few important points you should know, so as to explain my obsession:

1. I drink way more coffee than could be considered healthy.
2. I'm lazy
3. I hate doing dishes

Now, I only had one or two cups of coffee from the Keurig (because those little pods are expensive, and they belonged to my roommate, and I would definitely finished all of them if I were a horrible person. Which I'm not, some of the time.) However, I believe that the types of coffee that come with are Green Mountain, which is what they serve at my favorite coffee house, The Quick Stop (i.e. the gas station/convenience store down the block from my office.) And now, you can get little fill 'em yourself pods, and the options are endless!

But what I really love about the Keurig is the fact that it instantly heats water. In ranking things that I drink it goes something like this:

1. Coffee
2. Tea
3. PBR
4. San Pellegrino Aranciata 

As you can see, the instant hot water would be useful in my tea drinking habits. The other two...well, I could drink them while staring at my Keurig.

At one point in my life (possibly after a long night of #3) I composed a poem to my roommates coffee maker, which I will reprint for you now, in its entirety.

O! Keurig Coffeemaker

You are a mover, and a shaker

Your lovely purpose moves my soul

Just one sip and I feel whole!*

As you can see, this has been a long love affair. Perhaps, you say, I should just get off my lazy butt and go buy such a magnificent kitchen appliance. I would love to. But at the moment, I cannot justify a $120 coffeemaker, no matter how much I love it. Additionally, I live with my parents, as well as my adult sister, and my mother has threatened me with eviction if I try to cram yet another appliance into our already overcrowded kitchen. And since we currently have my parents coffee pot, my Mr. Coffee of my college years, and my sister's French press, I suppose she may have a point.

So that leaves me with a life goal. I will know I've really made it in the world when I own a Keurig and someone else does my laundry (more on that later.) 

So adieu, my darlings! I'm gonna go get some coffee from Sheetz.



*This would explain why I did not pursue a career in creative writing.